If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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