i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
