i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
