So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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