just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i came on her dog
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
