im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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