So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
your like the ambassador to my penis.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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