Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
