p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
