Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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