And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
