why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
