Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
