I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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