I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
