I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
