And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
