Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
