Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
