just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
MIDGETS
????
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
