listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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