my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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