Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
