fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I could have mohawked her pubes.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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