Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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