...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
