I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
