Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
