i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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