puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
