I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
