found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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