The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Randomize
