sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
