Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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