hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
