watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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