I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
