i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
