Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
