so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
