I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
