love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
