it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
