He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
