I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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