it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
