It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
