I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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