man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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