We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
The uberlube is also flammable
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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