I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
