If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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