it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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